tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5988612575864130544.post1100353388910588385..comments2023-05-31T04:55:41.541-07:00Comments on Rhythm of the Light: Rain is good, but sometimes...Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5988612575864130544.post-60496866433428677812010-01-17T11:43:32.183-08:002010-01-17T11:43:32.183-08:00Quite an interesting poem you have written in Free...Quite an interesting poem you have written in Free Verse. The cadence flows well. The imagery seems to suggest that the personna is lonely and depressed. If the intension was to write a dark poem then you have succeeded. The emotional play in the words has kept my interest in the poem from start to finish.<br /><br />(Aka) Paterika<br />Poetrynest.blogspot.comPaterika Hengreaveshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03265807139982331157noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5988612575864130544.post-49972557358102211042009-12-17T09:07:51.754-08:002009-12-17T09:07:51.754-08:00Laying in bed listening to the rain beat on the ro...Laying in bed listening to the rain beat on the roof or windows. It is poetry without words, but your words fill the emotion so missing from the sounds. (wish I could spell check my comments)Monkey Manhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06741294113777908130noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5988612575864130544.post-73575431627675872902009-12-15T17:39:52.794-08:002009-12-15T17:39:52.794-08:00Yeah, that's the feedback I'm talkin' ...Yeah, that's the feedback I'm talkin' about! Thanks, James.Diannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18323454057921441274noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5988612575864130544.post-51483903447840293092009-12-15T09:27:26.924-08:002009-12-15T09:27:26.924-08:00There are some lines here that I like a lot, and I...There are some lines here that I like a lot, and I admire the internal rhyme of the stanza beginning "The winter cold makes me feel old."<br /><br />Sometimes (for me, at least), it takes a while to discover the true subject of a poem -- which is a matter of focus and tone. What would happen, do you think, if you revised this, beginning with the stanza "Summer began after long drives through passes..." and going on from there? It seems to me that this is the point where you get to what you really want to write about....<br /><br />Just an opinion, of course, it's your poem....James Owenshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07614935078978354375noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5988612575864130544.post-36983979778187867632009-12-15T06:46:49.601-08:002009-12-15T06:46:49.601-08:00You have the rhythms of the rain in your poetry.You have the rhythms of the rain in your poetry.Enchanted Oakhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14815997287116818456noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5988612575864130544.post-26562344519504424082009-12-15T03:58:51.899-08:002009-12-15T03:58:51.899-08:00i am glad you put that last line in...our days wil...i am glad you put that last line in...our days will be hard...but i do think it prepares the way for our growth...Brian Millerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00722940075884718007noreply@blogger.com