Thursday, February 18, 2010

Friday Flash Fiction 55

He’s Sweet Sixteen

Closed as a tortoise
conserving the ages
inside his shell,

but agile as a feline
repelling a dog,
he fends off his mother’s touch.

Today the Ophthalmologist touches
his opening lids with her hands,
his eyes with her contacts.

A Cheshire-cat smile grows
as from a wondering new child.
My formidable cherub-god.

Join G-man and write a story or poem in exactly 55 words.  Let him know, HERE.
Happy Birthday to my number 1.


  1. Brush off mom, but revel in the touch of a doctor?

    Oh good lord tell him to enjoy it now because all will change in thirty five years when he gets to hear from his doctor *snap* "Well you put this off long enough, time for the prostrate exam."

  2. perfect 55. and birthday wishes to your no. 1 from me!

  3. Excellent....this paints a picture in just a short composition. Excellent.

    TIGER TEARS is my 55 this week.

  4. I'm not looking forward to the day when dodging mom's hugs are an Olympic activity in my house, LOL. Great 55.

    I'm up right HERE

  5. you know you were missed. smiles.

    happy birthday to your son!

  6. Sweet and touching birthday 55. Very nicely done. They don't repel forever :)

    I'm up here:

    Friday Flash 55 ~ Know

  7. My 15 year old son can be the same way at times, but is a bit less evasive on the affection side. Great 55. My 55 is HERE . Come see what's up.

  8. Happy Birthday to your #1 son -- and don't worry mom, you will always be his first love.

  9. Happy Birthday to the not-so-little turtle...

    You were missed. Welcome back.

  10. The emotion in your writing is a familiar one for me. As a mother of two sons, I remember that need teenage boys have to show independence. They will always come to you for some mothering when they are feeling vulnerable, though. It's a good thing.

  11. Di...
    Don't you EVER say that you weren't missed.
    Excellent 55 My Dear.
    Give that boy a BIG hug from G-Daddy.
    Thanks for coming out of retirement to play today.
    Have a Kick Ass Week-End Baby...You Rock!!!

  12. WM, you always make me laugh! Yeah I get the -oscopy this year.
    Shadow, glad you are back, although you seem to be everywhere even when I'm not.
    Annie I like your feedback, and what a day!
    Susan, you laugh a lot, I can tell.
    Brian, you just wait, your boys are small...
    Chef Kar, it's good to hear you are still around, I love your travels!
    MM, ask Mrs. MM how it's going for her...glad you keep the emotions flowing.
    Quilldancer, I like your pen name, mine will be a shortening of my real one: digress! Ha! thanks for visiting.
    Titanium, your treks bring me hope for my future in backpacking with my boys and their troop. Thanks for the Hello!
    Pattiken, you are right, but it is hard to feel it one day at a time...
    G-Man, YOU Rock! I just work too much.


  13. If it's any consolation, he'll be baaaack! :-)

    Great job of capturing the the pull from childhood and push into manhood.

  14. "but agile as a feline
    repelling a dog,
    he fends off his mother’s touch."

    Brilliant writing!