Sunday, September 19, 2010

The clock said two, but it was only one. Sunday 160

Endless twilight

the bed sat up

the man stood down

tubes flushed:

food impasse

across a sterile tabletop

lesions grew

while the clock on the wall

ate the fellow raw.


(This is a Flash Fiction poem in 160 characters, spaces included.  The challenge is hosted by Monkey Man HERE. Try it yourself, and let us both know!
I am still trying to express the struggle of facing cancer and the ravages of chemo and prolonged hospitalization many patients experience.  Pray for this 30 year old.

11 comments:

  1. This one is deep. The clock eating the fellow raw. That draws quite an image. Thanks for playing. Loved this.

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  2. Wow! Dianne, this piece really got to me... perhaps because of my fear of hospitals. Well done!

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  3. This is powerful, and very sad. I instantly imagined Kaposi's Sarcoma.

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  4. that last part about the clock (time) eating him...ouch...that one stung...nice write..great 160...

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  5. Oh my gosh. I'm a nurse and the visuals were so strong. Very powerful 160. I pray for your health, Dianne.

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  6. This is unbelievably good - especially to have been written from a prompt. You have taken those words are given them power.

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  7. Doesn't get much more brutally clear than this without actually being there.

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  8. Ohmygod, why haven't I been reading you lately? Powerful.

    xo
    erin

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