Saturday, September 25, 2010

Losing her

Above the jogging couple a single leaf

reddened in the shadow

of the neon of summer

their faces glowed

as they lurched forward

glancing at each other as if,

by running again along a new route

they could keep

the old roads from view.

Clouds rimmed their town

with fresh mountainous pillars

dry and sparkling,

the words always there

between the days

of waiting for each breath

and knowing.

She waited

in the hospital rooms

in wallpapered halls and under crocheted throws.

She couldn’t help her mother anymore

but never said the word, goodbye.

It meant she would have to look back

and forward to recognize the road she’d chosen.

So she ran,

fresh and wet and charged

medicated by endorphines

he filled

the moments given

without knowing how to help

and kept the words coming

each hello a gift.

Every shared thought a valve

to open and liquefy the loneliness.

Fed and warmed and burning the fall

without losing their way,

they ran.

My mother's birthday contiues to be an anniversary for reflection, 2 1/2 years after her death.  No longer in the throws of mourning mixed with infatuation for the world, I can savor the memories, one at a time.  Good bye is still so final....


  1. liquefy the wifes mom died 3 years ago in october...always a tough time...

  2. this swept me off my feet - so heartfelt and profound. my mom is 83 now and i know the day will come sooner or later - and i hate thinking about it

  3. Such commemorations need either to be framed in clear, detached narrative or dreamlike, allusive imagery. The sense of loss and yearning here resonates very effectively through the pairing of sharp snapshots - 'wallpapered halls...crocheted throws' - and extended metaphors. Powerful stuff.

  4. oh pittiful thia poem deserves more than three comments .. Simply beautiful my Father passed just about two years ago and yes it's too soon to say goodbye and yes it's way to final a harder way to say goodbye

  5. This post deserves more than three comments ...Simply beautiful and ye It;s much to oon to say good by as in so long is way to final

  6. She is beautiful. I love the way she holds her hands, squints her eyes, her little cheeks. I love everything about this photo. Grief though, oh grief. No amount of constant motion takes you away from it, just the balm of time. But we charge through life, anyways, for what else is there?

    Very nicely written, Dianne. I hope there is a great deal of balm now.

    (thank you for coming my way with such kindness)

  7. dianne, i want to tell you how glad i am to be at your blog, to read this tribute to your Mother. i am sorry for your loss and it's obvious your love and memories will be forever solid.
    someone recently mentioned the phrase 'hole in my heart' and i think that's what happens when we lose someone so dear.

    and yet, love expands.


  8. Your Mom had a beautiful smile...

  9. That is so powerful and touching. I'm in the process of losing my mother, an inch at a time.

  10. Yes! Accessible, conflict, resolution! Wonderful work, Dianne.

  11. I'm so sorry for your loss...and, yes, goodbye is too final...

    This poem made me brought back memories of my brother's passing...and how I never said goodbye to him either...our last words were "...until later..."

  12. she is so beautiful...

    i don't know what to say, except that i wish to give you a hug...

    i take pictures because i want to remember everything - and perhaps it is the same with poems - she is here, in your words, in you...