Works by Dianne Gross-Giese
This is wonderful! This is print-worthy! I am truly in awe of this poem, Dianne! This is a poem that I want to read over and over. I especially love "Before the earth warmed,/before the air dried, before the quickening life quieted again," and all of the rest of it. You have perfect line and stanza breaks. I'd send this out to someone!
Soon enough the crocus will peek up its first green stalk here and I will spend the nights blowing my warm breath on it to yield away the frost.
rain does that. evoke the senses. as did your wordpicture here. niiiice!
I like this. The physical details lend conviction to the emotional content.
Hi, Dianne: This is really lovely, one of your best, I think. The sound of it is rich and shapely in the mouth, one of those poems that measures true on the pulse before the mind even has time to consider. Great lines, like “the blinding ochre and straw hills / shot out wet and gleaming” and “Tangible breaths of the invisible / rain-soaked air.” I agree with Karen -- you should submit this somewhere!Can I make a few suggestions? It is usually best, I think, simply to present a scene like this and allow the reader to interpret it for herself. I would cut the lines that telegraph a “reading” of the poem and just let the images and language unfold on their own. What you have here is strong enough to do that!Here is one possible version (I hope you don‘t mind). All I have done is delete some lines that seem less strong than the rest:First RainDuring the night it woke me, drip drip drippinglike a clock, like a tear, a spreading puddle changing all my plans into soggy sponges. But during my 9:00 A.M. race through the hills to the fields of kids' soccer games, the blinding ochre and straw hills shot out wet and gleaming, patches of sun in the spaces of skybefore the earth warmed, before the air dried.Tangible breaths of the invisible rain-soaked air awakened a thirst I did not know I had: charged by the smell of the wet ground, damp dust, growth wicking a sip for the first time.
I like this post. amazing. love the rain ever so much! An amazing feeling. =]
"changing all my plans into soggy sponges.", luv that line especially;Here are 2 of my "Rains" a 2007 and a 2009http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/the-rain-33/http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/rain-fly/much lovegillena
Now that's the kind of feedback I'm talkin' about. Clear, constructive, and useful. You guys are listening!So, with James help, I agree by the way, leave out the obvious statements of intent and let the images speak. This was just a morning I had to get something out of me a year ago, glad you guys think it's got substance.
This is really nice, Diane...it does speak of the way our lives are affected by nature...nature, rain is so much inspirational to me too....lovely write :)and the previous ones too -- wishes, devika
The ever changing state of mind reflects through words, though its evident in the same words that soul is unchangeable. First time in your creative milieu and glad to see some beautiful words.
Rain is on both your mind and mine for this week's 55. I agree with Karen that this is one of your finest and most exciting. Please include it in your reading.Love, Chris