Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Desiccated vines
hang rusted across hillsides
over greening earth


  1. Fresh and Talented
    Her writing has Great Passion
    The Lovely Dianne!!!!

  2. You so make me want to do haikus that I wrote one this past week in honor of yours:
    Heavy-laden clouds
    A bright pink sky this morning
    Nature gives warning
    As you can see, your are far more mysterious. Good for you!

  3. How bout this one...

    Sixty years old now.
    He just keeps plugging along.
    Don't he ever bathe?

    I'll stop now....:-)

  4. Dianne: I like the visual image of the "rusted" vines hanging over "greening earth," and the sound of "rusted / earth" is very nice. It is a moving image.

    I have to question the phrase "in example," though.... Perhaps it's obvious that we are to take the scene as an example of something, but saying so seems too explicit for haiku. At least in the classic form, the idea is to present the image/moment and let it stand on its own, without the poet intruding or telling readers what to think.

    I know you are working hard to get the syllable-count --- but, for me anyway, the purity of the image is more important. (And, besides, Japanese syllables and English syllables are very different things (R: Perhaps you could comment, if you see this?), so I'm not convinced that the 5/7/5 pattern is a true transposition of the form, anyway ... though it is still a useful discipline, I admit.)