fall proverb:
“day=night"
"dark=light"
change comes
short of choices.
birds leave
fainter voices.
leaves fade
letting go.
leaking rain
is wafting close.
arctic lives
are turning white.
terns cry
from season’s flight.
fired sky
harvests light.
aging sun
has harnessed night.
memory seeps
an alkaline musk.
fruit feasts
in fatted dusk.
fried and dried
equinox:
“day=night"
"dark=light"
change comes
short of choices.
birds leave
fainter voices.
leaves fade
letting go.
leaking rain
is wafting close.
arctic lives
are turning white.
terns cry
from season’s flight.
fired sky
harvests light.
aging sun
has harnessed night.
memory seeps
an alkaline musk.
fruit feasts
in fatted dusk.
fried and dried
equinox:
preserving thou and I
in dust.
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-Since we all can't resist a fall poem! Happy feasting this week in U.S. on Thanksgiving....
Great blog, I enjoyed reading some of you today.
ReplyDeleteSmiles!
You packed so much into that poem that I could read it several times and still find more meat. You rock!
ReplyDeleteHi, Dianne. This is very nice! First, I love rhyme (and seldom feel I'm writing real poetry unless I sneak some in)! Next, you did, as Chris said, pack so much into this. I was going to quote favorite lines, but there are too many.
ReplyDeletea delight for the senses... i love fall. even more so with these words to accompany it.
ReplyDeleteAhh I can smell that wonderful aroma of autumn (fall) within your words.
ReplyDeleteI have added a link on A Poet's Word for my readers to find you. Thanks for visiting and commenting.
Diane: Very nice, each of these compressed stanzas capturing an image, the essense and feel of the season. I really like "fatted dusk" and "birds leave / fainter voices. / leaves fade / letting go. / leaking rain / is wafting close." It seems to me that the half rhymes like "go - close" work better here than the full rhymes.
ReplyDeleteFor me, "Thou" in the last line stands out and makes me stumble. The rest of the poem is so clear and direct --- why do you need this archaic, "poetic" form? And if you are going to use it, then you want "thee" here, not "thou" which is the subject form of the old pronoun. "Thee" is the accusative.
Congratulations on the new blog. I look forward to more of your work!