Here's a happy one for my friends' birthdays:
Walking to the Buckeye
just a puppy runnin’ circles in a race
read this grin bustin’ wide across my face
sweat is drippin’ down my back and chest and neck
a voice is singin’ somewhere in my head
pungent flowers blowin’ by upon the wind
hills are callin’ to continue with the climb
can’t stop searchin’ the horizon for the view
hikin’this path seein’ it brand-new
just a puppy runnin’ circles in a race
read this grin bustin’ wide across my face
sweat is drippin’ down my back and chest and neck
a voice is singin’ somewhere in my head
pungent flowers blowin’ by upon the wind
hills are callin’ to continue with the climb
can’t stop searchin’ the horizon for the view
hikin’this path seein’ it brand-new
can’t ache for wantin’ another minute more
I keep wonderin’ have I been this way before?
Walking to the buckeye,
Walking to the buckeye,
strangest thing you’ve ever seen,
Though it's almost winter,
Though it's almost winter,
it’s full of fruit, and bare of green.
They say it’s too acidic, inedible and tart.
Well these aren’t tears of sadness,
must be the buckeye touched my heart.
They say it’s too acidic, inedible and tart.
Well these aren’t tears of sadness,
must be the buckeye touched my heart.
-
Dianne Gross-Giese 10-2008 copywrite
All rights reserved
There's a grin bustin' wide across my face, friend! Funny, happy poem. You have lots to read tonight.
ReplyDelete'keep searching the horizon', this is lovely!
ReplyDeletehttp://www.americanpoems.com/
ReplyDeleteOne of my favorite poetry sites because of the voluminous amounts of poetry found there.
There is much to like in this piece you have written Dianne. The narrator is working to climb the hills but the words surrounding the climb make it seem seem effortless, as aging should be. The pleasure found in the simple is readily apparent and gratifying to the reader.
Though I could take the Buckeye as a metaphor I for one think it works fine without transposing it to be something other than what it is; a symbol.
The only suggestion I have is take these two lines and break them at the comma's
Walking to the buckeye, strangest thing you’ve ever seen,
Though it's almost winter, it’s full of fruit, and bare of green.
Walking to the buckeye,
strangest thing you’ve ever seen,
Though it's almost winter,
it’s full of fruit, and bare of green.
The reason being to keep the ABCB meter of that verse in proportion.
Be Well
TWM
This is bustin' for a tune, Dianne. Any scansion problems would regularise themselves within the sung line.
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